impatience is the opposite of a virtue

yesterday, i was convinced that esme was coming. after having broken my pubic symphysis, i was sure that i was dilating all over the place and that i would go to school, go to target, go to the dr, where he would check me, and admit me into the hospital and we would have birth.
okay, so i went to school, to target, and to the dr, where he checked me, and i wasn’t dilated at ALL and my pubic symph isn’t even close to being broken.
i almost told the man to go fuck himself when he said my cervix is still closed.
you see, I AM GROWING IMPATIENT, more and more IMPATIENT every MINUTE.
and i’m so uncomfortable that i actually went to my car last night to get 1 hour of sleep. the car is the only place i can sleep, which is not very good, and no one likes that i like to sleep in there. and i’m so impatient that when i found out that target was NOT going to send the stroller that todd and walter ordered for us (generously, yes) that i had a nervous breakdown and went to babies r us and didn’t leave the mall until i had spoken to walter (which takes a long time on account of his being a busy busy legal man) and he agreed to my selfish selfish impatient plan to just BUY a stroller and then they can buy me a card and put money in it instead of trying to order another one.
then, i’m so IMPATIENT that i had to build the stroller the minute i got home (which was actually super easy) and attach linkadoos to every possible place where one could attach a linkadoo.
baby, this is mommy, please hurry up and come out, i have LINKADOOS for you to play with! and japanese picture books, and diapers!
come on….
NOT even born yet and i’m BARgaining with her.
pathetic AND impatient.

oh, and i was watching vh1 awesomely bad outfits or whatever, and they were playing my way by butch walker in the background and i remembered how much I LOVE the song even though he’s NO SCHLESINGER by any stretch of the imagination, and so i downloaded it from itunes and now i can rock out.

Published in: on January 25, 2006 at 5:51 am  Leave a Comment  

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